LETTER & ARTICLE TO GARY GRAIG
POSTED ON WWW.EMOFREE.COM
Deborah Miller, PhD
Gary,
I took an opportunity that has changed my life; I was allowed to use EFT on kids that have cancer in an actual
hospital ward. As I continue to see deep shifts in the kids, the parents, and the staff, I realized that it is time
for me to share what has transpired and hopefully inspire everyone to take advantage of the opportunities that
come their way.
Being invited into the hospital was my opportunity, but what I did and continue to do with it is going way
beyond what I imagined. I started with the idea of seeing what happens as I tap with a few kids with cancer.
In a little bit over a year I found myself working with 135 children and over 500 family members plus many
hospital staff, to being officially invited to teach the whole hospital staff EFT. Who would have imagined it?
I would like to encourage everyone to take advance of the small opportunities that come along because you
never know where they will take you. I for sure, never in my life imagined I would work with kids with cancer
and here I am about to embark on a journey of teaching EFT in hospitals. Take advance of the gifts and
opportunities you receive and use your gifts to the maximum. Blessings are sure to come of them.
While working with EFT and my energy the hospital has significantly changed. I share these stories to inspire
and give hope to all who read them.
Namaste
Deborah Miller, Ph.D.
How was the quality of life of children and personnel at a Cancer ward in Oaxaca, Mexico markedly improved?
The answer: They were all introduced to EFT.
Teaching and doing EFT with these kids has been the most incredible experience of my life. It not only has
helped me grow personally, changing my perceptions and paradigms in many ways, but also as an EFT
practitioner.
When I first started doing EFT at the hospital with the kids, I was curious as to what would happen despite
the limiting working conditions and circumstances. As time went on and with a little bit of encouragement
and perseverance, I began to see the details and the real magnitude of what was transpiring. I became aware
that true improvements were made. Not only were these children feeling better physically, but their pain and
nausea diminished, fevers were reduced, their immune systems recovered faster also emotionally deep changes
came about. They were getting rid of their terror and fears of needles, nurses, doctors, of their disease, creating
self-esteem and self-worth to name a few.
Finding out about these very important often overlooked changes, I also was glad to observe that some of the
children who tapped with me were learning life skills that are rarely taught to them. In a way they were given
back their dignity, and that allowed them to embrace their disease on a whole new level. They owned it and
claimed their right to heal, and actually allow their body to begin the healing process.
I saw child after child tap on their own, they tapped with TappyBear and reminded their parents to tap with
them. They began to choose to feel better, under the worst of circumstances, and to allow themselves to be
happy by focusing on all that was good at that moment in their lives. This in turn brought back my most
cherished trophy, their smiles and joy.
The quality of life has improved drastically for these children, and consequently that of their parents, the
hospital staff, the doctor and me.
These kids are incredible souls and it is such an honor to work with them.
How working with EFT and Kids at the Hospital came about.
How does one begin such an intense, enormous project as working with EFT and kids with cancer, in a
hospital of all places? Amazingly enough it started out in the simplest way. I was invited to participate in
a Fundraiser for Kids with Cancer in a local park. I had just gotten my new TappyBear and was eager to
see how children responded to him. I went off to the park that day with the following idea: “Let’s see what
happens? I’ll spend a few hours of my time lending a hand and helping some children feel a little better”.
That simple idea has led to a life-long project that continues to expand and fill my heart with love.
My experience that day was a delight. Remember we were in a park with the kids lying on cots under
makeshift tents. It is quite striking to see these beautiful children in pale green gowns with little to no hair,
some calm, some very weak, some with IVs, some silent, some distant.
I worked with 4 children that day. The first was Cinthia. She had the roundest face and even though she did
not see well out of one eye she paid close attention. She smiled and was open to trying EFT thinking it was
fun especially because she got to use TappyBear. It made her feel markedly more relaxed and reduced her
discomfort. I was glad as it was such an encouraging start.
With the other children, I had varying success. One of them was open to EFT, another one was still in the
shock of finding out that she had leukemia, but tapping with her parents brought them some relief. The last
one that day was a shy one. Yet, each relaxed in some way. In each case TappyBear was a soft and gentle
way to approach these children, which is very different from their experience with needles, medicines and a
hospital.
After observing my tapping, the doctor in charge of the cancer ward commented about me trying EFT in the
hospital itself. This idea had to settle for both, and it took 2 months before we managed to connect. The day
we did meet is a memorable day for me. It was the beginning of a bigger journey and learning experience in
my life.
It started out simple enough with a conversation between the doctor and me about EFT and the needs of these
children beyond the physical treatments they receive. He basically gave me the freedom to do whatever I
could with EFT, and with my trusty TappyBear I did so.
I choose to begin by teaching and showing EFT to the nursing staff as they are in immediate contact with the
children on a daily basis. I wanted them to know personally what I was up to, and not be surprised by the
funny looking “tappings” and “stuffed bear” I would be using. I led them through a few rounds of EFT and
we ended up laughing, yawned and relaxing. It created a beautiful connection between me and these nurses
who care so diligently for these children. When I met them initially I could feel them stressed and tired from
the amount of work to care for these children, especially since getting too attached to any one of the kids is
difficult and has emotional consequences if he/she doesn’t survive. I truly believe that connecting with them
has been one of the keys to success as they freely allow me to work with them and the children.
As I got to the Children's area, much to my surprise, the first girl I saw in the hospital was Cinthia. She was
glad to see me and Tappy's Blue bag on my shoulder. She told me excitedly that she remembered how to tap,
had taught her Dad how to tap and they tapped together. How wonderful that after 10 minutes of tapping with
me, she could recognize its value, use it and teach someone how to do it with her. She was the first recipient
of a TappyBear, and I knew I would need many more right then. (with the strong support and help of TappyBear
Inc. I have been able to give over 80 children with cancer their very own TappyBear.) Every time I give a
child a TappyBear, I see the other children looking at me with hope in their eyes that they’ll be the next one.
It makes me wish I had one to give each one right now.
The children’s cancer ward has a waiting room where up to 25 parents and children wait for treatments and
two rooms with beds. One of them has 3 beds and the other 6 of them.
The first day I walked into the cancer ward, I was overwhelmed with the sadness, pain, misery and fear that I
literally sensed, as if I were being hit by a wall with these emotions. I saw a mother and child huddled together
in a corner, and there were about 30 more people in the room in a similar state. I could feel that in their
perception, they were alone, huddled in their own misery. It was a lonely, isolated and depressing picture that
deeply saddened me.
With Cinthia and Tappy as my ice breaker, I began to shed all doubts, and sat down to tap with her, observed
by all others. Her smile was more than enough proof that this was only the beginning.
When I began using EFT, the children and parents who tapped with me began to feel relief on many levels.
With time, and, as more and more of the children and parents learned EFT, the whole atmosphere of the ward
gradually changed.
Here are some of the changes that I perceived.
- One morning I walked in and four children with their parents were having breakfast together and laughing.
This was so remarkable that even the doctor noticed it and commented about it to me.
- On another visit, the children were playing games together or on their own. They were laughing and talking
to each other. They were doing puzzles, drawing and coloring. They were playing with a ball and constructing
things out of Legos.
- Another shift was the parents talking, sharing experiences and helping each other out. One mother told me
before learning EFT she couldn’t help anyone else. She was so absorbed in her own problems with her own
child that she couldn’t even think to look at what was going on with the others much less help them. Now she
feels empowered, because she feels calm and much more relaxed in the face of her child's cancer. Believe me,
she now is one of the mothers who goes out of her way to help the children and other parents.
- The next aspect that I was amazed by is that the nurses are more relaxed as they enjoy interacting with
children who aren’t afraid (or less afraid) of them or of the treatments they will be giving them.
- A delightful indirect coincidence was that the only place in the whole hospital that got a new paint job was
the children’s cancer ward. It went from drab gray walls and dark blue doors to fresh and inviting colors like
a beautiful soft yellow with stuffed animal detailing and light blue with scenes from the sea.
- Parents themselves show markedly reduced anxiety and intensity of fear, so they can be joyful with their
children.
- One of the best aspects was that the doctor and nurses found increased compliance with the children
when taking their medications or coming to the hospital for treatments and injections.
The big shift is that now when I walk in to the cancer ward, the energy feels light and comfortable. The ever
presence and seriousness of the disease is still there, but not the intense fear of it or the inability to manage
it. Laughter is now regularly heard from the ward.
For me, these shifts alone have been worth bringing the gift of EFT to the hospital.
Initial Contact
Rodolfo, an 11 year old, was back in the hospital because of pain in his stomach and side. He was diagnosed with
a calcified mass in his right kidney. I tapped with him to get rid of that initial pain and from there on he took on
tapping with Tappy as a daily ritual. I left a Tappy with him in the hospital; he slept with it and tapped with him
daily. Even when he went home he tapped every day. He promised to tap twice a day and he did. The results are
marvelous.
He was scheduled for surgery to remove the kidney mass. He was afraid of this surgery and we tapped away
all of those fears. In Louis L Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life” it talks about kidney problems having to
do with self-criticism. I told him kidneys represent criticism, especially self-criticism. He agreed he was very
critical of himself.
We tapped:
I’m so critical of myself.
I always tell myself how bad I am, or how poorly I do things.
I cut myself down.
I am hard on myself, just like my calcified mass.
I criticize others.
I’m hard on them too.
My family criticizes me too.
They are hard on me.
No wonder I have this hard mass in my kidney.
I feel hurt when others don’t like what I say or do.
We tapped:
I choose to be nice to myself.
I am a good boy.
I’m a great kid and I’m talented.
I say nice things about myself and others.
I am worthy.
I choose to praise myself when I do well.
Visualizing and Tapping Away the Calcified Kidney Mass
We worked on the mass itself. We started by imagining it. It was about the size of a grapefruit. We saw these
precancerous cells encapsulated in light, just like the grapefruit has a skin around it. I asked Rodolfo if he
imagined doing whatever he needed to remove that mass what would he do. He said, “Cut it out with a sword.”
It was a magic sword.
We tapped:
I use my sword to cut that mass into pieces, 5 pieces.
I burn those bad cells until there is only ash left and I blow away the ashes.
I change those bad cells into good cells.
Even if the doctors need to take them out it is ok.
It means I get to start again without criticizing myself.
I am a sweet boy.
I am sweet to myself.
I don’t take things personally.
I know when it is about me and when it isn’t.
I take responsibility for my stuff but not that of others.
Once we did this he was no longer afraid of the surgery. We continued:
I release any hidden fears or need to cover them up so that I appear strong.
He began to yawn profusely as we tapped. (Yawning is a sign up release when tapping).
I am a good boy, not a bad boy.
I change my fears to strengths.
We imagined how the surgery would go from beginning to end and tapped while we did it. We tapped:
I am smiling and laughing with the nurses and doctors.
They treat me really well.
They take care of me.
I go to sleep without worries.
I know the surgeon is doing his best work.
I take 5 angels with me to take care of me and the doctors and nurses.
I come back to my room afterwards and feel fine.
He liked these images very much. He told me that if he felt any fear when he was about to go to surgery he
would tap. In the end, the surgery was put off and this was his opportunity to tap more.
Tapping at Home without and with Tappy
Rodolfo promised to tap 2 times a day when at home (even without a Tappy). He did. The results were obvious.
He looked fabulous when I saw him again. He had great color, was smiling ear to ear and looked so very happy,
even though he was waiting to have his appointment with the doctor. The stomach aches he usually had when
at the hospital had gone away. He hadn’t had a cold, like he usually got.
When I received a donation of TappyBears, Rodolfo received one. I think it was the best gift he had ever received.
He beamed a smile at me as he received his Tappy and promised to tap every day, and he has.
Rodolfo is an EFT Champion
Rodolfo is true to his word about tapping every day. He still uses his “magic sword” to feel strong and protected.
In fact, he went way beyond what he promised. He taps every day with his parents. He taught his younger sister
and brother, his aunts and uncles, his cousins and friends to tap (or do EFT). Two of his friends come over every
day after school and they tap together.
Wow! Here is a young man who not only actively taps every day, he recognized how great he feels when doing
EFT and then he took it upon himself to teach his family and friends. When you see him, you understand how
well he is doing. He looks fabulous. He has a full head of hair; has grown, and has the most incredible smile.
Beyond all of that the most obvious thing you notice is that he actually emanates peace. You can see it in his
eyes. That’s why for me, Rodolfo is an EFT Champion.
Tapping while Intern Takes Blood Samples
I had a lovely experience helping not only two young boys feel better but also an Intern relax while taking blood
samples. Imagine the stress an Intern must feel when having to take samples from a screaming child as well as the
difficulty if the child is moving around and resisting.
As the Intern was about to take the sample from Christopher I started to tap with him. He was crying and almost
screaming, not wanting what was to come. As we tapped he relaxed and cried less. Actually he forgot to cry a few
times and had to remind himself to do so, cuz that’s what you do when someone pokes you with a needle.
We tapped:
The Intern is a good lady and she will do her best.
I am relaxed so it is easier for her to take the sample.
She does such a good job that it is over before I know it.
It doesn’t even hurt.
I’m so relaxed that it all happens quickly.
I continued to tap and he relaxed more and more and before he realized it, the blood sample was taken. His
arm didn’t even bleed.
At that point we started talking about other things as if that is what we were doing before the Intern came to
take the sample. It was all over and forgotten. A few minutes later he was asleep.
The Intern asked if I would tap with the next young boy, Eduardo, as she took his blood sample. I went across
the room and started tapping with him as she prepared herself and the boy. He started to cry for him mommy,
but as I tapped and spoke to him he relaxed, cried a little, relaxed. He was watching her put on her gown, the
mask, and gloves and that made him uncomfortable.
We tapped:
She is wearing the gown and mask to make sure everything stays clean.
She’s a good Intern making sure everything is right.
She wants everything to go right.
She is making sure everything is perfect.
I don’t have to be scared.
I relax and stay calm.
Then he saw the Intern with the gauze all ugly-colored from the Iodine to clean his skin. I could see the panic
on his face.
We tapped:
It is only a liquid to clean my skin.
It is like soap, nothing more, but it has an ugly color.
It doesn’t hurt me.
It isn’t blood.
It is just like soap.
See now she is using water to clean off the soap.
She wants to make sure your arm is clean.
He relaxed. As the Intern took the sample, he did cry as it hurt some, but he could immediately relax as she
took the sample.
We tapped:
I’m a brave boy.
I relax and it will all be over soon.
I relax my arm and it hurts less.
I am a good boy.
When it was over, he did relax.
We tapped:
Now that it is over and I can relax completely.
It is all over and I let my arm relax.
I send away the pain. I don’t need it.
I am a good boy.
I feel better now.
His mom asked how it went and he told her it hadn’t hurt so much. Even as young as he is, 3 years old, he
knew something was different than what he had experienced before. I could see the curiosity in his eyes as
he tried to figure it out.
Afterwards, the Intern thanked me telling me that for her it was a much better experience because the boys
were much calmer. As I tapped on the boys and watched them relax, I saw her relax and feel more confident.
In fact, I was tapping for her as much as the boys by the phrasing that I used. It was a nice win-win for both
the boys and the Intern.
Jonathan leaves with peace and love
Jonathan was a young man of 15 years when I met him. He would hardly ever talk to me or anyone else. He was
angry, frustrated and disgusted with the world. He closed himself off into his own world of misery, the pain and
suffering of leukemia.
Even though he would not talk to me, I would come by, talk to him, do EFT for him while he watched me. On the
rare occasion he would say something. I did get to know one of his sisters and together we tapped for Jonathan. She
told me that Jonathan’s father had died when he was 8. He was basically home alone as his mother had to work to
take care of them all. He was the youngest of 8 children.
One Friday Jonathan was in really bad shape. I had a mental conversation with Jonathan. I told him that I
understood why he was so angry with his mother for not being there for him, for his father leaving and that he had
reason to be angry with the world. He felt anger that his mother didn’t love him because she herself was like a little
girl so couldn’t be there for him, and that his father died and left him. He had every reason to be angry with the
world. I told him that he had two choices: Stay and heal it with love in his heart, or leave and be in Spirit. I
told him that either option was fine. It was up to him. I left the hospital with the feeling that he would not be alive
the next time I came in. I arrived on Monday to a great surprise of him looking much better and with more of his
family with him than I had ever seen.
Over the following months, Jonathan became a different young man. He smiled, talked, and was open. He did EFT
with me every time I came in. He used the TappyBear too when no one was around. I tapped with his sisters and
his mother and with him about his healing, about his hurts and wounds, and each of their hurts. I saw that what
Jonathan wanted more than anything in life was to feel loved. By doing EFT he released many of his blocks to
receiving love.
The last time I saw Jonathan, he looked truly happy and content as he left the hospital. He had a look of peace in his
eyes. He told one of the other mothers just before he left that he felt good, that he felt at peace, and he was ok, but
he knew his body could not recover. At the time I met him, his body had not been responding to any treatment for
months. So even though Jonathan passed away a few months later, he gained something so important, so grand, so
incredible: he passed on feeling at peace instead of being angry with the world; he
created a healing within himself and his family, one that allowed him to feel their love, the one thing he wanted
most in life. That gift will live on for a long time.
Bless you Jonathan for being such a wonderful soul. I thank you for teaching me that I may not always succeed in
helping the children heal themselves of cancer, but that something grander may come of it, healing of the heart and
soul.
Karen Dances with Tappy
Red Fear
Karen is a 4 year old with big eyes. She has leukemia. Her face was flushed red with blotches. I showed her
TappyBear and tapped along for her. At first she was shy but then enjoyed it. We tapped on Tappy about the fear
she had when she first got sick. The first sign of her illness was fever. It would come back again and again roughly
about every two weeks. The fear was red. We tapped that we threw it away. We also tapped to throw away her
illness. Since then her face rarely gets flushed and red.
Bringing Daddy Back
Even though Karen is very young, she is incredibly smart and has a great memory. Since she has such a good
memory, I asked if she remembered why she got sick. She said my dad came back when I was sick. He was away.
We tapped:
I had to get sick so dad would come home.
He came home because I got sick.
He came home to take care of me.
I had to get sick so he would come home.
I am a good girl and don’t have to get sick to have my dad come home or stay.
I can get well.
At this point where I started to mention it being safe to be well, she got tired. As if it were too much to give up that
belief.
Dancing with Tappy
The next day I tapped with Karen and Geraldine. We each had a TappyBear. I tapped on his buttons and they
followed along saying what I did. I continued from where Karen and I left off the day before.
We tapped:
I am loved whether I’m sick or well.
I don’t have to get sick to have my dad at home.
I can be healthy and have the love of both of my parents.
I am a great girl.
I can heal.
My body heals.
I am worthy.
I am loved.
I am an angel.
I am love.
Something clicked when they tapped that they were love. They opened their eyes wide as if never occurred to them
before. Then they both got up, put the TappyBears on top of their heads and started to dance around the cancer
ward. There was such glee in their dance. I had never seen such a display of joy in this ward before. It brought
smiles to all of us in the room to see such pure joy.
Karen Quote
I like to touch TappyBear because he is so lovely.
Emigdio, a Child with Cancer, and his Fears
Emigdio has leukemia. The first time I met Emigdio he was alone in the hospital bed, lying there pale, sad and
without any energy. He saw me come in with TappyBear and I could see the curiosity in his eyes. When I came in
with TappyBear, he was curious. Who is this woman and why is she carrying a stuffed bear? I asked him if he
wanted to learn how to use his magic fingers. He nodded. When I asked him if he felt sad or had pain, he said he
didn’t have any energy. We began using Tappy and tapped about energy. His color got better and he sat
up.
Fears
The next time I saw him his color was still good and he told me he felt lots more energy, and was much less tired.
He was smiling so widely that I felt delight.
I decided to find out if he had any fears. He thought a moment then said he did. I asked what color it was. He said it
didn’t have a color. I asked if his fear had a shape or form. He said an animal. I asked him to close his eyes and tell
me what animal. He thought for a moment then told me it was a dog. When I asked if it was a ferocious dog he
nodded vigorously yes.
We tapped:
I have this fear and it looks like a dog.
It is a mean dog.
It is a black mean dog.
It scares me.
I don’t like it.
I’m afraid of it.
It might hurt me.
I think the dog would like some attention just like me
He might need some love too..
I can change the mean dog by treating it nicely.
I think I’ll give it something to eat so that it feels better.
I change the mean dog to a nice dog, a pet, a friendly dog.
I asked him to close his eyes again to look at the fear that was a dog. He did, but then opened them quickly with
pleasantly surprised shock on his face. He said it wasn’t a bad dog, but a good dog. He was smiling from ear to
ear. Since he was alone again I asked if he misses his family. Of course he did. I had him tap on seeing his family in
his mind’s eye and that they were always close. When we finished he didn’t feel alone but that his family was right
next to him.
The following day, the nurse reported to me that Emigdio had excitedly told her about how we had used Tappy to
get rid of his fears.
As I work with this young boy and see how excited about healing he is and having a way to get rid of his fears, my
heart fills and tears come to my eyes.
The Promise
A few weeks later, Emigdio was in ICU with an intestinal infection. He told me the infection was green, an ugly
green. We used TappyBear to clear out this image. As we tapped he decided to burn the ugly green. It took a while
but then it was gone. We put healing “energy” in its place.
Now that we’ve tapped together several times and he felt confidence in me, I asked him if he remembered when he
first got sick. Without pause, he said three years ago when he little brother got ill. He was scared, that fear was like
lots of bad dogs. We tapped to release those fears/bad dogs.
I asked him if there was anything else. He said he was scared for his little brother so he promised to get sick so his
brother could get better. I could hardly believe what I was hearing. What an incredible promise. How does one
heal when one is holding such a powerful promise?
We tapped:
I was scared for my little brother and got sick instead.
He got well, but I stayed sick.
I thought I was doing a good thing to make him better.
I didn’t know he would get well on his own.
Then I stayed sick.
I am a good boy.
I promised to get ill because I love my little brother so much.
I chose to get ill for my brother, but I don’t have to do that anymore.
Now I know my brother will get well on his own and I can get well too.
I release myself from that promise to be ill for him.
I can now get better.
He said the fear was gone but I knew something stayed by the look on his face. So I had him look at his disease
again. This time it was a pain in his left chest/heart. I asked if he felt guilty and he did.
We tapped:
I feel guilty because I promised to get sick so my brother could get well.
I am a good kid doing what I thought was best.
I didn’t know better, but now I am free to heal too.
He looked so relieved. Afterwards he only wanted to close his eyes and sleep. There is nothing like a deep release
to make you want to rest.
The next time I saw him he looked wonderful, happy and healthy. His father said he was doing well.
Love from Deborah Miller
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